Finding Your Tribe

How Shared Struggles Create Deeper Connections

Imagine this: you’re sitting in the college library, juggling exams, part-time work, and the crushing pressure of “figuring it all out.” Across the table, someone says, “Ugh, I haven’t slept in two days either.” Suddenly, you’re not alone. That shared sigh of exhaustion? It’s the seed of connection. Let’s dive into how shared struggles can pave the way to finding your tribe.

The Psychology of Shared Experiences
Humans are hardwired to connect through shared experiences. Psychologists call it social bonding. When you face challenges alongside someone else, your brain releases oxytocin, the “bonding hormone,” making you feel closer and understood. Think of it as the ultimate icebreaker; it can bypass small talk when required.

The Power of Vulnerability
Opening up about your struggles isn’t weakness—it’s courage. Dr. Brené Brown, a vulnerability researcher, says, “Vulnerability is the birthplace of connection.” By sharing what’s real, you create space for others to say, “Me too.” Vulnerability doesn’t repel—it attracts.

How Shared Struggles Lead to Authentic Friendships
Let’s face it: 
Surface-level friendships are fine for Instagram likes, but they don’t feed your soul. Struggles strip away the façade, revealing our authentic selves. Whether it’s venting about finals or navigating identity crises, these moments build trust and foster deeper, more meaningful relationships.

Finding Your Tribe: Where and How
Your tribe is out there; you just need to know where to look.

• Clubs and Societies: Join groups aligned with your passions or causes.
• Social Media: Platforms like Reddit, Discord, or even niche Instagram pages can connect you with like-minded individuals. Now it’s harder to forge a deeper connection in any of these places, I agree, but it can be a start. 
• Local Events: Open mics, support groups, or even study sessions are goldmines for meeting people with shared experiences.
• Say Helloha! Join the Helloha app, which matches you with others who share the same struggles as you do, making it even easier to start a conversation with lighthearted thought starters. 

Anna From Birmingham;
Anna, a first-gen college student, found her tribe through a mentorship program for underrepresented students. Sharing the struggle of navigating academia forged friendships that felt like family.

Mike from California;
Mike, an athlete recovering from an injury, discovered his tribe in a mental health support group, where everyone understood the pain of unmet expectations.

These aren’t just stories—they’re proof that your tribe is waiting.

The Benefits of Finding Your Tribe

• Emotional Support: Shared struggles mean shared understanding.
• Increased resilience: Facing challenges with others builds mental toughness.
• Belonging: There’s nothing like knowing you’re part of something bigger.

Practical Steps to Connect Through Shared Struggles

• Start Small: Share a relatable meme or mention something you’re finding tough.
• Listen Actively: Connection isn’t just about sharing—it’s about listening to others too.
• Be consistent: Regular meet-ups or check-ins solidify bonds.

Embrace Vulnerability to Find Your Tribe
Finding your tribe starts with a leap of faith—showing up, being real, and embracing shared struggles. 

The payoff? 
A network of people who “get it,” who’ll cheer for you during highs and stick with you during lows.

Vulnerability doesn’t repel—it attracts.
Challenge: This week, start one real conversation about a struggle you’re facing.
Action Item: Tag your tribe and thank them for being your people.